In this short article, I’m going to talk about the idea of you having no regrets in life. This is a topic I always cover with my life coaching clients here in Tel Aviv, Israel.
It is also something that is relevant for my career consulting clients and I always share these tips with them as well.
Now, I have decided that I want to give you the tools on how to live without regret, and breakdown the two different types of regret that a person can have.
However, before we begin… I have some bad news for you. No matter what we cover in this article, you are going to die eventually. In addition, when you die you are probably going to have some regrets. It’s just a fact.
But great news! You are not dead. You are alive!
So let’s get into it, and discuss how to live this life with no regret. Or at the least, minimize the amount of regret that you have when you die.
Now in my opinion, here are two types of regret that we can experience as people
Firstly, the First Type of Regret: Regret of the bad acts that you have committed.
Certainly, you’ve said mean things that really hurt someone close to you. We all have acted impulsively out of anger. Perhaps a desperation or perceived necessity triggered you to engage in crime.
Moreover, the bad acts you have committed gave you bad energy, and put out bad energy into the world. As you reflected on these, you had to deal with the side effects of these actions. Thus, the side effect is regret.
More bad news. You must deal with this first type of regret internally, and is damn near unavoidable.
Why?
Because we all act out of raw emotion sometimes.
As someone who went to therapy for years and years, I heard “Always try to control my feelings, and express them in a calm manner”.
As I became an adult, I concluded that to express oneself in this sort of fashion all the time… is a bad idea. I believe that sometimes it is good to act out of raw emotion…in the right way.
That said, Here is Tip #1 to Help you Live Without Regret
Think with the logical part of your brain. Try your best not to inflict emotional or physical pain on other people.
Nor to commit acts that may have a negative outcome for yourself, or other people. Be conscious, and stay conscious… you’re an adult.
Secondly, the Second Type of Regret
Regret from not doing, or not saying things. The sayings of “no regrets”, or “never regret” are typically referring to these types of situations. The post-moment wishing, upon actions not performed.
The girl you didn’t ask out on a date. Maybe the person you didn’t express emotions to. Perhaps you had a chance to do something for someone you care about, but you just didn’t do it.
This type of regret is completely avoidable, and it’s much more affordable than the first type of regret. Meaning, the saying of “no regrets” is typically referring to these types of situations.
This second type of regret is exactly what you need to tap into raw emotion for. The raw emotion of courage, honesty, and authentic heroism… in your own life.
Tip #2 to Help you Live Without Regrets
Think about it… you are going to die. Take the risk.
Remember that you will never regret trying your best and failing… but you will only regret not trying. Therefore, it is FOREVER worth trying.
About Claude Lee Massey – Life Coach and Career Counselor
My name is Claude Lee Massey, I’ve been living in Tel Aviv for 10+ years… and what an adventure it has been! I remember the day I arrived in Israel, I had NO money – NO friends – and NO job.So, how exactly did I become a life coach and career counselor in Tel Aviv, Israel?
Here is my story…
About five years ago (after 15+ years of soul-searching), I had a realization: That I was put here on this planet to teach and to share the knowledge I have. Along with that powerful revelation, I had a powerful insight: “I want to open my own consulting business”.
As the start-up capital of the world, Israel has plenty of new companies with growing English speaking sales teams. Therefore, with my 15+ years of experience in the field of sales, I decided to open a sales training/consulting company.
I never thought that I would open my own business in Israel…but I did!
At once, I went to an accountant to file the proper paperwork to legally operate my NEW sales consulting company. Afterwards, I began to use all of my spare time (at this point I had a full-time job for a high-tech company) after work and before work creating materials and trying to acquire clients.
Most importantly, I knew what I had to do and whom I wanted to target.
I started cold calling companies in Tel Aviv, Herzliya, Ramat Gan, Jerusalem, Bat Yam, and Holon. Moreover, I was working like a madman. I was sending emails and doing everything in my power to try to generate momentum in my business.
It was, and is brutal being an entrepreneur, but great news! I was able to find my first few clients!
Something I immediately noticed, was at the conclusion of my sales training workshops (where I focused on selling through telling stories, and teaching specific sales techniques), two things would happen consistently happen:
Firstly, I would receive feedback that the sales training workshop provided massive value. Secondly, one or two of the students in the course would privately approach me.
They would speak with me about their struggles, not only in sales but also in life.
Then one time, a female student offered to pay me for a one-on-one sit down session outside of the office. She asked me to help her figure out a better career path. As a struggling entrepreneur, I accepted.
Another student, at another company, approached me and offered to pay me for my time to help prepare him for a job interview. Yes, he was planning to leave the sales job that he was at.
Similarly, another student from another workshop, at another company me to help them work with their confidence and being able to communicate efficiently. This would happen again, and again…
Each person with his or her own challenge. They knew I was not certified or professionally trained. Still, they would approach me and offer to pay me for my time.
To sit with them and help figure things out, and to give them my guidance. These first clients called me their “Life Coach” or “Career Counselor“.
Moreover, I was able to help them! At the conclusion of our 3 to 5 one-on-one sessions, they each had taken took massive steps forward towards the results they wanted.
